In Tibet, this kind of meditation is often done outdoors in a charnel ground, or beneath clouds moving across the sky, but these particular forms aren’t absolutely necessary. Try to find a place that brings you closer in touch with a sense of the natural ebb and flow of all life. Sit someplace where you can be quiet and alone. Buddhist teachings remind us not to run away from our thoughts and feelings about the losses in our lives, but instead to become intimately aware of the gritty facticity of life. However, most traditional Buddhist teachers don’t call it loss or change they call it impermanence. Teachings on the nature of loss and change are the most basic and essential to seekers on the Buddhist path. We inhale and breathe in the moment that is becoming. In so doing, we let go of the person we used to be. We exhale, and we let go of the old moment. We learn to welcome and accept this entire process. In so doing, we abide in the ever-changing moment. This is something Buddhist meditators know. With every breath, the old moment is lost, a new moment arrives. Related: Why Grief Is A Series of Contractions and Expansions We discover that we can hold our lost loves in our hearts even as we slowly open to new love. We discover, often to our amazement and relief, that love is greater than time and place and even greater than death. The deep pain we continue to experience reminds us of our love and keeps our hearts open. But others, like the loss of family members, mates, and young children, can be so brutal that we may never really get over what we have known and experienced nor do we need to. Some losses, like bankruptcy, unemployment, or eviction are serious, but they can eventually be put behind us. Some varieties of loss are momentary, while others are more lasting and not necessarily to be swiftly released and forgotten. Think about what it means to lose innocence, trust, faith, or belief. Think about the difference between losing a job, a mate, a house, or a parent. How can we appropriately respond to loss, failure, illness, death, tragedies, calamities, injustice, betrayal, shock, trauma, abuse, grief, and life’s most hurtful wounds? Can we do so with wisdom? Our sorrows provide us with the lessons we most need to learn.Ĭompare the intensity of losing a tennis game with that of losing a child. There are so many different modes of suffering and dissatisfaction arising out of the various troubles and travails that afflict us. With every breath, the old moment is lost a new moment arrives.īut none of this alters the fact that we need to find more enlightened ways of approaching loss. We need to be more conscious about the ways our losses can help us become wiser and more spiritually evolved we also need to be more sensitive to and aware of other people’s pain and suffering.ĭifferent forms of universal wisdom may tell us to “shake it off,” “get over it,” “offer it up to God,” “learn and grow from it,” or that “time heals all wounds” and “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” To somebody who is suffering from a profound loss, these words can sound superficial and shallow they can even be infuriating. Realistically, since we will all suffer many losses, we need better, more evolved and astute ways of approaching sorrow and emotional pain. For it is not what happens to us that determines our character, our experience, our karma, and our destiny, but how we relate to what happens. How we deal with these losses is what makes all the difference. Sooner or later, all is lost we just don’t always know when it will happen. We have to come to terms with this reality. At one time or another, everyone loses something.
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